Conventional College Boy Wisdom
Employers, professors, I ask you to shy your eyes. What follows are some assertions and conclusions I’ve gathered during my three and a half year tour of duty at this awesome life experience, collectively referred to as “college.” It has truly been a privilege, and I encourage you to share your own lessons from your college experience.
- 80% of instutional education is appeasement.
This one breaks my heart a little. Education is something I hold near and dear, but it seems that so much of learning involves satisficing those requests of your instructor. If you can learn to become a Yes Man (something I personally detest, and something most of those same instructors even preach against) you will find yourself pulling in some A’s you don’t think you deserve. This is particularly true in writing courses. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve written something to a professors liking, and defended it to my friends with something like, “I know I know; it’s horrible, but that’s how he wants me to write this.”
I had a tough time with this for a while, especially growing up. In my infinite discipline and respect for authority, I would always argue to my mom that “because I said so” was not a valid justification for anything. I owe her big.Ask lots of questions. Try things on your own and do them your own way. But, tragically, be ready to compromise your creativity for the sake of a better grade.
- What they said about how much “college professors don’t care” isn’t entirely accurate.
Live slightly in fear of them, because it’s true that they’re not afraid to flunk you without flinching. But they are also living, breathing, human beings. They have souls and compassion (most of them) and are sometimes generous if your shoulda-been-an-A came out closer to 89 or 88. If you can appeal to them and demonstrate that you’re interested in the subject and doing well in their class, you’ll find them much more responsive down the road.
- Speak up!
Most of my professors have welcomed student comments & input. Raise your hand and offer some of your personal experience or insight on the topic. Heck, in some of my quieter classes, I would add my quips just to keep the lecture (err.. classroom dialogue) moving. Even if it’s a lame joke, your professor remember you next time when you have something more intelligent to say.
- I hold firm that anybody who can last one year at college can last four.
Once you get that first year under your belt, you get into the groove of balancing the work with all that new freedom you just fell into. If you care about your friends from high school, don’t let them take that year off to go find themselves. Encourage them to get started in school; they’ll thank you later.
- Money is not everything; far from it.
This, I have adapted from a cheesy email forward I recently read, put better into terms a fellow college boy might understand. Life is like a beer. Flavorful and intoxicating. And money, power, status, etc.. think of those as barware; your mugs, pint glasses, and pilsners. It’s true that somehow, the experience of a delicious beer is enriched by a frosted pint glass. But even so, the chilliest of beer mugs can’t make the cheap beer taste like anything but cold, bubbly urine. In that instance, is it even worth dirtying another glass?
Reflexbluestocking 11.44.2007 4:00pm
Wise and witty. I’ll take these to heart as I just applied to grad school. Oh, and baked goods headed your way this weekend.
Manhands 11.17.2007 10:21am
love #5. The only thing money is good for is beign able to buy a nice imported 6 pack vs cheap nattie in a cold mug
Jon 11.45.2007 10:34pm
Well thank you, Kristin. I look forward to getting some mail worth a damn :D
Manhands, if being poor means I can’t tote my specialty 6pk to the party, then maybe I was completely wrong on #5. Maybe I am a whore for money..